I thought my journey with Ayahuasca in July would be defined by the places and times I traveled to, but it ended up being defined by where I already am, have always been, and always will be. After an immersive out-of-body experience, I woke up back in my body.
Upon returning to my physical form, I was able to communicate with the Ayahuasca spirit. I immediately asked, “That was it wasn’t it?”
She replied, “No this is it!” She wanted me to sit still and observe everything happening in my body. For the next 11 hours, I barely moved until the sun rose the next morning. I experienced complete bliss knowing that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be.
Most of my life, I was barely able to sit still, let alone meditate. Every time I would attempt a 5-10 minute guided meditation, my mind would wander elsewhere. I would finish the session exhausted from how much I was resisting it. I would focus all my energy on escaping just like I did in the classroom throughout my school years. I thought meditation was a skill that I was unable to enjoy or master. Meditation was just not for me! The main way I was able to relax was by napping. I just thought meditation wasn’t something I needed in my life.
Everything changed when I took a virtual course with Joe Dispenza earlier this year. Early on into the course, he said something that connected with me deeply. Every time our body tries to resist stillness, we must remind our body that we are in control. Every time we do this, it’s a victory! Instead of resisting the meditation, I could instead take control and allow my body to surrender to it.
With this newfound knowledge in mind, I had the confidence to try what he described in his first session as a “mini-med”. As hard as I tried, I still failed to complete the meditation. I opened my eyes, defeated. I then looked at the video and realized I had meditated for 13 minutes! This is the longest I’d ever sat in stillness! The meditation was 17 minutes long and I was so close!
The next day, I started his next session determined to complete the meditation. I did complete the meditation that day. It was 35 minutes long and one of the most powerful experiences of my life. Somewhere in that 35 minutes, I was able to fully relax my body and be fully aware in stillness for the first time in my life. I completed every other meditation in the course. Since then, taking time for myself in stillness has become a major part of my daily routine. Turns out the meditation thing is for me after all.
Overcoming myself in the first few sessions was extraordinarily challenging. Once I was able to reach that place of bliss, I felt that if I could get just myself there, it was enough to allow my body to relax while the process of meditation kept unfolding.
The best advice I could give someone who is struggling with meditation is to try a session that is far longer than you ever imagined you could complete! You’ll be able to do it and once you find the space of stillness, it is much easier to remain there. In my experience, the mind becomes loudest before it quiets down. Also, don’t feel pressure to sit or lie in any specific way or listen to any guidance. Just focus on shutting down your mind while still remaining conscious. If you fall asleep, that is just what your body needs. As you expand your practice, you can experiment with different techniques, positions, and music to expand your experience. All of those will be easier once you gain confidence in your ability to stay awake while your mind rests.
Ayahuasca didn’t teach me how to be still, that’s a practice I dedicate myself to daily that will always require work on some level. She did teach me that the present moment is the only place we are meant to be; not in any other dimension, space, or time. Meditation is a tool that is always available to all of us to help us find that present moment.
Tools for Meditation
Meditation is a personal experience and I encourage you to find what works best for you. With that said, below are 2 tools that help me that you are more than welcome to experiment with.
Setting intent with numbers
I always set my timer for a number that expresses my intent for the meditation. Below I list out the lessons you can call in with each number and corresponding times
1 [1, 10, 19, 28, 37, 46, 55 minutes] – Calling in starting something new, creation, success
2 [2, 11, 20, 29, 38, 47, 56 minutes] – Calling in balance, bringing things together, peace
3 [3, 12, 21, 30, 39, 48, 57 minutes] – Calling in creativity, emotion, fun
4 [4, 13, 22, 31, 40, 49, 58 minutes] – Calling in hard work, patience, structure
5 [5, 14, 23, 32, 41, 50, 59 minutes] – Calling in adventure, change, discipline
6 [6, 15, 24, 33, 42, 51 minutes] – Calling in beauty, love, vision
7 [7, 16, 25, 34, 43, 52 minutes] – Calling in faith, truth, vulnerability
8 [8, 17, 26, 35, 44, 53 minutes] – Calling in abundance, influence, success
9 [9, 18, 27, 36, 45, 54 minutes] – Calling in completion, giving, wisdom
Music with Solfeggio Frequencies
I’ve found to have the deepest meditative experiences using solfeggio frequencies. You can easily find them using any music subscription service and/or on YouTube. I personally like music from Apex Signal and Source Vibrations.